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Review: Panasonic Sl-sw860 Metallic Shockwave Cd Player With 40-second Anti-shock

Posted on 2016-06-18

On the back of my CD player there is a date proudly displayed: APRIL 2000. It was then that Panasonic gave birth to something beautiful – it was then that my SL-SW60 was born. I have been with her for more than 16 years now, and I think I can safely say that she is the finest piece of machinery known to mankind.

I want to be clear here. I’m not talking about this model CD player in general, because, as I’ve found out from reading other reviews about this model, the SL-SW60 has been known to stop working after a year or so of use. No, I’m talking about my specific SL-SW860. My SL-SW60 would never do that to me. She loves life and she refuses to die.

I say, in all sincerity, that my SL-SW860 is more of a man than I’ll ever be, which is impressive because I had previously been referring to her as a she. I used to bring this thing with me on my busride to highschool, and it never let me down. Eventually something new and shinier was released, an iPod, and I foolishly turned my back on my old friend to embrace the future. My SL-SW860 didn’t complain, though, because it knew that it was the better machine and that was enough for it to be happy. Fast forward to a year or two later, and my iPod dies. I opted to buy an iPod Video, but it, too, would become useless within two years.

But all that time my SL-SW860 waited for me. Newer technology came out and went, technology that made it obsolete, but did my SL-SW860 care? Not at all. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my SL-SW860 stands proudly over the competition. My SL-SW860 is able to do this because my SL-SW860 will never quit.

Well, okay, once it did quit on me. Rather early on in its life I had dropped it, and it ceased to work after the drop. But that’s when something magical happened – that’s when my SL-SW860 became who it is today, that’s when it realized its love for life. You see, after it stopped working I had, in desperation, opted to hit it rather hard, possibly by throwing it against the wall. This shocked it back to life. I believe that this was the defining moment of its life. It had experienced the cold void that was death and, through sheer force of will, brought herself back from deaths grip. It had decided that death was not for her, and that she would never again be caught in deaths embrace.

I’ve become something of a runner in recent years, and for a few good years I would always take my SL-SW860 with me. I’ve occasionally fallen on these runs, and it’s been hard on the SL-SW860. On one particular run, I fell and came down on it with most of my weight. The left lock mechanism fell off, but my SL-SW860 soldiered on. Who needs a left lock when you have a perfectly fine right one?

I suspect that she will never die, or at the very least outlive me; but if that dark day does come, I plan on giving her a hero’s funeral. SL-SW860, with your 40 seconds of anti-shock memory, I salute you and love you with all my heart and soul. Know that when I said you were the finest piece of machinery mankind has ever created, I also meant that you are the finest piece of machinery mankind will ever create.

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